


The Prime Minister's Aide

by ToniPrufrock



Category: Little Britain, Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Comedy, Funny, Gen, Government, Other, Sherlock - Freeform, little britain - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-03
Updated: 2010-10-03
Packaged: 2017-11-01 16:50:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/359104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToniPrufrock/pseuds/ToniPrufrock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A rather silly little fic in which Mycroft Holmes has his first meeting with the newest prime minister of Britain. However, he didn't expect to encounter such an 'overzealous' aide.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Prime Minister's Aide

Mycroft sat in the waiting room at number 10 Downing Street, his hands lightly resting on his umbrella. He felt lost without his assistant, and resented being made to drag himself all the way out here alone, but occasional meetings with the prime minister were essential if he was to work efficiently.  
At least, that was the official reason. In truth, Mycroft knew that in order to do so much over the prime-minister and the rest of the government's head, he needed to throw the politician the occasional bone to make him feel like he was in the loop. Especially as this prime minister was quite new. It would be the first time that they met.  
Still...  
He sighed, trying to be patient, silently studying the secretary, mentally piecing together where she had been, what she had had for lunch, what she had had for breakfast, where it was likely that she lived, where she shopped for her make up, that she bit her nails, that she slept on her left hand side at night, that she had two cats - one white and one ginger.  
His younger brother wasn't the only one who could get bored.

Then the door swung open and a man stepped out. Mycroft hadn't seen him before and looked dimly interested. The man was tall, rather thin, with an outdated floppy haircut and dressed in a suit. He tilted his chin up in a flamboyant display of pride, and Mycroft thought that without doubt he was the campest man he had ever seen.

"Mycroft Holmes?" The man trilled loudly, showing off authority in front of the secretary. Mycroft repressed a little sneer.

"Here." Mycroft said, moving to get up.

"No no no stay down there, I need to let the prime minister know that you're here." the man said, emphasising the 'I' in a childishly show-offy way. He pursed his lips at Mycroft in a a smug look before gracefully opening the door and disappearing back inside.

Mycroft blinked and then exchanged a look with the receptionist.  
"He's always like that." She said.

"He's came with the prime minister?" Mycroft asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yes. 's his aide." She said.

Mycroft gave another long sigh and waited. He'd heard vaguely of Sebastian Love - a small politician who was over-zealously attached to the man who was now prime minister. His dedication and loyalty had gotten him far, apparently. Mycroft made a mental note to put him under surveillance.

"Holmes. Get in." Sebastian said rather gruffly, poking his head out quickly. Apparently the prime minister's enthusiasm for seeing Mycroft had flared up some sort of jealousy. As Mycroft got up he heard Sebastian's voice trill out cheerfully again to the prime minister that he was coming.  
Mycroft entered the prime minister's office, casting an eye around the familiar room and taking note of the little things this prime minister had changed and redecorated. He could feel Sebastian watching him with irritated scrutiny.

"Ah, , a pleasure to meet you." The prime minister smiled politely, looking genuinely pleased and shaking his hand.

"Mycroft, please." Mycroft said. He heard Sebastian make a little nose behind him. he ignroed it and sat down opposite the prime minister when he was invited too. Sebastian immediately took up a place on the arm of the prime minister's chair, looking down his nose at him.

"I must say that it's an honour. You reputation proceeds you, Mycorft." the prime minister said politely, sitting back and ignoring Sebastian's odd placement. "I feel rather a fool, but I had no idea that we even had your branch of the secret service."

"Few people do." Mycroft gave him a slightly smug smile. "And we like to keep it that way. We operate on a strictly need to know basis, Prime minsiter."

Sebastian bristled. "Oh, but always needs to know, don't you dear? he's very on the ball, and clever. he's going to be in full control and give your lot orders."

Mycroft raised his eyebrows. "Is he now?" he replied cooly, still polite and urbane in tone.

"Sebastian gets a little carried away. But, what he means is that I would prefer it if I was as informed as possible. I dislike having the wool pulled over my eyes." the prime minister said.

"in all respect, prime minister, sometimes that is for the best. Some of the delicate issues we have would only confuse you and distract you form your current duties." Mycroft replied.

"Ooh! get her!" Sebastian exclaimed, giving him a sour look. Mycroft gave him a rather disbelieving look, but quickly composed himself, deciding to ignore him.

the prime minister ignored Sebastian and frowned a little. "i rather think that it's my right to decide what is best for me and what isn't. I can hardly run a country in ignorance." he said sharply.

Mycroft raised an eyebrow, giving him a superior look.  
"Your predecessors seemed to manage it." he replied, "and with all respect they were both smarter and more well connected than you are."

"Bitch!" Sebastian exclaimed loudly, getting to his feet.

Mycroft blinked and looked up at him. "Excuse me?"

The prime minister opened his mouth to try and calm Sebastian down, but the man immediately launched into a rant, childishly flailing his arms about to emphasise each point.  
"Listen here sweetheart, you might think you're all that, but it's my prime minister here who runs the country, not you. You might act like the ruddy queen, but he's the guy in charge, and you do what he tells you. He's smarter than you - he's so smart he can, he can do long division in his head in like, 5 seconds flat, 'cos I saw him. And he managed to get rid of those stupid trannies in the opposition. And he's well connected - everyone loves him because he's gorgeous and smart and really really good at being a prime minister and he had posters and everything and that's more than you're ever gonna get darling. So why don't you sit your pudgy bum down and stay down and do as you're told?"

Both Mycroft and the prime minister stared at him. He then flicked his hair and gave a satisfied look at Mycroft as he moved behind the prime minister to massage his shoulders.  
"The secretary warned me about him." Mycroft replied cooly, trying to look completely unfazed.  
The prime minister gave him an embarrassed look back which soon hardened into one of determination. "Well...well he is right. I am the superior politician here and I deserve to know what your branch is up to."  
Mycroft gave a thin smile and then stood up fluidly, leaning on his umbrella.  
"I'm sure that you do. But you see you serve only for a few terms at the best. I've been doing this since I was 23. You see where the difference lies."  
He then turned to leave, ignoring Sebastian hurling bitchy insults at him as he did.  
"You will get a paper on your desk in 4 days at exactly 3.30 pm. I truly recommend that you sign it. Cheerio." Mycroft said, and then left with a wave.

Well, that couldn't have gone any worse, he thought.  
This was either going to be an incredibly easy prime minister to manipulate, or utterly impossible. No in-between.  
Either way, he knew he wasn't going to go and talk to him in person ever again. He had a feeling that Sebastian would rather sink his nails into him than allow him to slight the prime minister's dignity again.  
Fascinating.  
Whistling casually he walked out towards his car, feeling quite smug with himself for winning that little battle...

there was a splash and suddenly he was drenched from head to toe in water. He was dumbstruck and looked around and finally up at the source of it.  
Sebastian Love was hung out of the prime minister's window, a bucket in his hand and a victorious grin on his face.  
"What good's your umbrella now, BITCH!" he shrieked. He then laughed and ducked back inside, closing the window behind him.

Mycroft stood there, water dripping off him and trickling down the neck of his expensive suit. He sighed.  
Politics.


End file.
